I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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