there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
