she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
