he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
