Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
