she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
