Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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