Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
