I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
