O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize