I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
