the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
