I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
