Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize