just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
