So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize