I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
