capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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