im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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