I need help removing her.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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