I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize