He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
