I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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