Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
