U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
