Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
