i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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