I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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