Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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