My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
