I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
So many bounce houses so little time
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize