WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
love makes seman taste better
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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