I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
