wakey wakey hands off snakey
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Couch. On fire.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
