If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
