if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
