alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
