fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
