i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
