i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
there was a trapeze. enough said
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
