You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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