So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
