Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So apparently I’m into choking now
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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