This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
