There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
