My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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