Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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