You work out of a Hotel?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
