Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
are you so shy because you have an std?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
