Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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