He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
