yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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