at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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