I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You smell like stripper and shame
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
