True but thats because hes a fetus.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
