Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
She announced her abortion via fbk
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
