just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize