it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
