Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
