I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
