I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
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