She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Ketchup is God's man juice
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
