he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
