Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
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