just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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